If you go to the bank often, then you’d agree with the following list of the different types of people that are found in Nigerian banks every day.
1. The “master delayers”
They come to the bank to deposit very huge amounts of money, delaying others in the process. And you’ll start blaming yourself, “God why did I queue behind this man?” These people make those who came to deposit or withdraw lesser amounts of money (like ten thousand naira or less) ask God why bad things happen to good people. And others might even start begging, “Bros abeg, na 3k I wan pay, let dem attend to me.”
2. The pen borrowers
These people never go to the bank with a pen in hand, hoping to borrow from other customers. These people are quite dangerous in the sense that, once you borrow them the pen, you might find it difficult to identify them. If someone in a Nigerian bank asks you, “Can I have your pen?”, that might just be the last time you will see that pen.
3. The “I dey your back” crew
Immediately these people enter the bank, the first thing they do is to find out the last person on the queue and tell that person, “Sorry, I am at your back”. Such people could be very mischievous, as they can say the same to about 3 o more different people, thereby causing confusion on the queue.
4. The “no protocol” team
These kind of people don’t obey the first-come-first-serve rule. They are influential customers who feel they are too big to join the queue. Once they enter the bank, they just walk up to the cashier or manager who then asks them to sit down. Within 5 minutes they have completed their transactions and are on their way out, while you are still waiting on the queue.
5. The “bank door rejectees”
These people will always have a problem with the bank entrance scanner. You’ll see them removing their belts, car keys, mobile phones, etc. and yet the machine keeps turning them back. Then you’ll start wondering if they actually swallowed a metal object.
6. The slip wasters
These people waste bank deposit and withdrawal slips like tissue paper. You’ll see them cancelling, tearing, and squeezing the slips and taking another one. They cannot write simple figures in Naira without making mistakes. It’s a pity that most people within this category are the so-called “educated” ones.
7. The exile people
These people make you wonder if they had been in exile or had just landed from another planet. Why? They will always ask for the date. Even if you tell them, they try to confirm from one to two other people.
Which category do you usually belong to? And what other categories of people do you meet in Nigerian banks? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment.
Source: Nairaland (with modifications)